Tag: self-improvement

Be Like Pedro

About four years ago, I was asked to do a long-term substitute teaching job for about two months.  The class was an adult transition program, a type of special education class for 18 to 22-year-old students who have finished high school.  In these classes, the students spend some time in the classroom, but also go out into the community to local businesses where they do things like wipe down tables and fill salt and pepper shakers. They help out at the job sites and try to build skills for after they age out of school.  What I didn’t expect was that this would become my favorite sub job ever.

Being a moderate to severe special ed class, there was a range of issues that the students had.  Two were in wheelchairs.  One girl would do a sort of call and response routine where she would call out, “Twinkle, twinkle, Mr. Connally.”  Then I would have to say, “Sing Twinkle, twinkle,” or she would just keep asking.  Then she would sing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.”  Then you would have to say, “Good job,” or she would sing it again until you did. 

There was another girl who would eat any food she could get her hands on, so you could not leave anything sitting around.  One boy had an aide who would walk around the school with him all day.  Another girl would run away, or have violent outbursts, but was perfectly fine as long as she had pictures to color.

Then there was Pedro.  He was my favorite.  Pedro was a little guy, probably not even five feet tall.  He did not really talk, but he did use sounds and gestures to communicate.  Each morning, I would take my seat at the front desk and set up while I waited for the students and the aides to arrive.  As soon as Pedro came in, he would come up to my desk, tap on my shoulder, and point to his desk.  I would go over and do puzzles with him.  It was our routine.  He would always grab the same two Spider-Man puzzles, and I probably did those same two puzzles two hundred times in my two months there.  Pedro made my day for one simple reason: he was easy to make happy.  He took joy in every little victory.  That joy was contagious.  For example, when we did those puzzles, every time he got a piece to fit in, he would look at me and say, “Woohoo!”  Then I would do it.  It was fun. 

After that, we would do our morning meeting, and we would go over things like what day it was, what season it was, and how the weather was.  We would call on kids to go up and pick answers on the screen about those things.  Whenever we called on Pedro, he would jump out of his chair and run up to the front, pumping his hands in the air and exclaiming, “Woohoo!” like he had just been told to “Come on down!” on The Price is Right.  When we went to the work sites, Pedro would take such pride in his jobs.  At one restaurant, he got picked to pour ice from the ice machine into the ice well at the bar.  I started calling him “Ice Man,” and his face lit up like he was the most important guy in the world. 

That was what I loved about Pedro.  He would get so excited about the smallest things.  This is a trait that everyone should strive for.  It is counter to how many people think.  So many of us are never content.  Most people get desensitized to small joys that used to seem so significant.  Think about how thrilling it was to hear the ice cream truck, or to get a sticker at the doctor’s office.

Someone once told me that they had been around baseball for so long that they do not get excited anymore.  I remember thinking, “How sad is that?  I never want to lose that joy.”  I want to be like Pedro.  I want that childlike exuberance forever.  When someone says that I often act like a big kid, I do not see it as an insult.  I wear it as a badge of honor.  We should all take joy in the little blessings in life. 

I just found my favorite pair of sunglasses that I had misplaced.  It made my day!  That is a good thing.  I still get delighted when I find a nickel on the ground.  If you do not have that sense of wonder in life, I encourage you to work on it.  If you are unhappy, this one thing will help you a lot.  If you are lonely, more people will like you and want to be your friend if you are easily contented.  Not only that, but your attitude will be infectious.  Other people will be happier.  It was hard to be in a bad mood around Pedro.   

After that class got a new teacher, I would often sub for other classes at the same school.  Whenever Pedro would see me, his eyes would brighten up, he would point and get excited like those videos of soldiers surprising their family by returning from deployment.  Pedro may have been in special ed classes, but most of us can learn a lot from him. 

Try it.  Be like Pedro!

Don’t Be Shy

Have you ever taken one of those Myers-Briggs Personality tests?  It asks you a bunch of questions and gives you a four-letter categorization of your personality based on four different characteristics.  The first trait it attempts to evaluate is whether you are an introvert (I) or an extrovert (E). The letters are not supposed to mean that one or the other is necessarily better or worse.  It is just supposed to tell people which way their personality leans.  There is, by the way, some difference between introverted and shy.  A shy person fears negative judgment by others and feels anxious in social situations, so they tend to avoid them.  An introvert is usually introspective and feels overstimulated by social situations.  They often prefer quiet, alone time to think instead of being around people.  While they are not the same, there is some overlap between shy and introverted, namely, that both will often avoid social situations.  For this reason, I believe that one possibility actually is better than the other.  I encourage you to act like an extrovert.

If you are shy, or an introvert (which I will use interchangeably from now on), please do not get defensive.  This is not an attack or even a criticism of you.  In fact, when I take the Myers-Briggs test, I am an INTP.  There is nothing wrong with being introverted.  By that, I mean that there is nothing immoral about being shy.  Someone is not a bad person because they are shy.  This is entirely a qualitative assessment, not a moral one.  I want all of us to have a higher quality of life.

What led me to this thought was a friend on social media.  You probably have some friends online whose posts make you think.  This particular friend of mine often posts stories and memes about being an introvert and trying to avoid going out and spending time with others.  They are amusing and good-natured posts, but whenever I see them, it makes me feel bad for her.  She is missing out on so much in life!

Don’t get me wrong.  Sometimes spending a night alone at home watching TV is great.  That being said, almost all of the most memorable moments in life are spent with other people.  Let’s be honest, people are interesting, and the only way to meet them is by putting yourself in a position to.  My suggestion is to seek out opportunities to go interact with people.  Join a club.  Join a team or go to sporting events.  Go to parties.  Travel and mingle with the locals.  Sing karaoke.  Don’t worry about what people might think.  Most people are too worried about what others think of them to be too critical of you.

Another great idea is to get a social job.  Many of the articles about introverts suggest that they get jobs that do not require much interaction with other people, like computer jobs or cubicle jobs.  Those articles imply that these jobs are a good idea because it fits the personality of the introvert.  The better idea is to do the opposite.  I once dated a girl who was bartending when I met her, but I soon realized was pretty shy.  She said that she got the bartending job to force herself out of her comfort zone and meet new people.  It worked, and her life was richer for doing it.  Heck, she met me.

As I said, I lean towards introversion.  It is all right if you think quietly at times.  Occasionally, someone will notice I am not being talkative and will ask what is wrong.  Most of the time, nothing is wrong and I am contemplating some deep issue of life, or some idea for an article for this blog.  Being contemplative is perfectly fine.  I am not suggesting you have to constantly be the loud, crazy, life of the party.  Thinking before you speak or act is usually a good idea.  People see the strong, silent type in a positive way for good reason.  That being said, never let your feelings stop you from fully experiencing life.

The movie Yes Man with Jim Carrey is a fun, silly film, but it helped me to this realization.  In the movie, Jim Carrey hears a motivational speaker who tells him to say “yes” to every opportunity that presents itself.  When he does, he begins to thrive and succeed in many areas of life because he is putting himself in the position to do so, when previously he never would have had those chances.  Of course, you can’t say “yes” to everything, and eventually, he figures that out, but the principle of being open to more opportunities is a good one. 

My general rule is that if somebody suggests that we do something or go somewhere, as long as it is not immoral, I will say yes.  If a friend calls and wants to go out, say yes.  If somebody invites you on a trip, go.  If you don’t feel like going, ignore that feeling!  It will make your life fuller.

Now, I am going to follow my own advice.  Instead of watching the rest of the baseball playoff games here in my hotel room, I am going to head out to a sports bar in Phoenix to watch.  Maybe I will meet some new people and some fun adventures will ensue!